Behind the lens.

You sit there, head tilted as far as you can tilt it, attempting to smile with your eyes. Something you’ve convinced yourself would make you look far more beautiful than just looking straight into the camera lens and smiling. A method of showing emotions, according to you. A method of proving your stupidity, according to others.

You spend hours, sitting, and staring into your reflection. Often times you look up photos of others who’s lives you wish you had. You post photos of them and you envy them. You go on and on about them. However, you detest it when others call others pretty because you believe only you have the right. And when others compliment you, you cause an argument just so you can keep hearing the praises. You’re not that beautiful as you think you are, dear.

Then you attempt to write but everything you write, is related to something you insist you avoid. Drama. Must you call someone a b*tch in every post you write? Hypocritical, that you are. You post that no one likes her, but you only have three friends. People are only nice to you so they don’t have to stir up drama because that’s something you just love to do.

You hurt others. While you play games with this one guy, who’s fallen deeply for you, you post that you want him. But if you really did, why haven’t the cards been laid down after three months? Every other day, the posts of “him” change. It’s a different guy each time, and everyone can see it. It hurts him to the core, but you’re too blind and distracted with thoughts of what game you’re going to play next. All you want to do is win.

You aspire to be someone but until you come clean with yourself, you’re still going to be that lonesome girl sitting on that chair trying to look beautiful for that camera, while you hurt other peoples feelings. It’s materialistic but it’s the only thing you can rely on to be there whenever you need it. In the end, a camera only captures it’s subject by the look on the outside. With no knowledge, whatsoever, of the inside. The easiest to fool.